Departures

Unknown artist

We all come to SecondLife with different expectations, so it must be expected that some will leave sooner or later. I have been thinking about the way people choose to depart once they find that our world, or its residents, does not offer them what they had wished for.

Some come with the hopes of a cool game where they can score points and move from one level to the next. A game that will give them a few - or many - hours of entertainment. Others come to SecondLife with the expectation to meet a perfect world where they will be entertained by others.

Well, SecondLife is not a game, it never was and it will never be. You enter this world with your own personality, your talents and your interests, much like in first life actually. Just as in the first life you cannot expect to be entertained by others all the time.

SecondLife, just like first life is what you make of it yourself. What you put into it matters and what you offer others matters a hell of a lot too. If you are a recluse, you can remain a recluse and devote yourself to the activities you find rewarding or beneficial. If on the other hand you have an outgoing personality it is all about relationships and context, you can join in and take part and make your contribution to the world.

Those expecting a technologically perfect world in SecondLife are also bound to be badly disappointed, because SecondLife is not perfect, never was and hopefully never will be. Just as in first life there are bugs, annoying malfunctions and irritating quirks. Sure Linden Lab smooths out some of them over time and somethings improve only to create other new obstacles. During my almost five years inworld conditions have improved vastly in so many ways and slowly and steadily. As new features have been developed new problems have arisen and the lovable tech-geeks at the Lab have gotten new problems to deal with. But most importantly our beautiful world continues to develop and improve.

"Turning Away", self portrait by Scott Hutchinson

The way people choose to depart from SecondLife vary a lot. The short lived ones are not a problem, nor are the recluses, because none of these have created friendships or relationships that can or will miss them.

The worst kind of departures are those that suddenly just drop off the radar without a word after creating longstanding relationships and friendships with others who care for them and worry. By their action they tell us that we are not even worth the time or effort of saying goodbye to.

The second worst departures are those who leave with recriminations and rantings about how Linden Lab or the other residents inworld - or outside of it - did not live up to their expectations of entertainment or performance. They might as well say it outright, "You are losers for staying on!"

I would wish people learned to leave SecondLife with some dignity or style, saying "Goodbye and thanks for all the good times but I have found other interests in life and am moving on. I have valued your love and friendship over the years." It would feel so much better than when they leave with bitterness, recriminations and complaints that we or the world we love - are imperfect, unsatisfactory or do not meet with their standards. neither inworld or in our first life activities.

On Kyle's List

Yesterday after the results of the election had been posted  Kyle Beckett, the Co-Chair/Secretary of the outgoing board of SP2013 for some inexplicable reason saw fit to publish this post on several people's Facebook pages.

"Just got done reviewing the login records for the Second Pride website and comparing them to the voters list. These are the names of members who logged into the website during the election and DID NOT have a vote registered. If your on this list and did not put in a manual ballot, then no votes were counted from you. The more you know..."

Kyle Beckett's list

This is the list of names that Kyle Beckett published, it contains 45 names.

As one of the members of the election committee, who had gone through the list several times I immediately saw that Kyle Beckett's post and the list he posted contained several errors or erroneous information.

Below I have reviewed Kyle's list with the last list I received as a member of the committee and with the list of members in the Second Pride Festival group on August 4, 2013.

8 persons on Kyle Beckett's list had their votes registered and were in fact counted.
1. Avacar Bluestar
2. Brian Lindman
3. Gage Furman
4. Galileo Michalski
5. Hank Ramos
6. Lemondo Oh
7. Pabs Manx
8. Ricco Saenz

Throughout the election process the following message was posted on the Second Pride website:

IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR MEMBERS You MUST be a member of the Second Pride in-world group before Midnight August 4th to be eligible to vote. The election committee will be cross referencing the online votes received against the in-world membership list. Please be sure to click on your name at the bottom of this screen [on the second-pride.com website, my remark] to view and/or update your online profile. Make sure your Second Life Avatar name is part of your profile so that your vote can be verified against the in-world membership.

Despite this some voters were not members in the group at midnight August 4th and some members did not update their profiles with the necessary information to separate them from others in group. 

4 persons on Kyle Beckett's list did not belong to the Second Pride Festival Group on the specified date to be eligible to vote
1. Asyousay (Ransom B Halcyone)
2. Cody Bolero
3. Grunt Cheveyo
4. Joseph Nussbaum

1 person did not leave additional information required to identify himher or there were several matches in the group 
1. JJ on the Second Pride website could possibly be JJuray on Kyle Beckett's list, but there are at least two JJ's in the Second Pride group.it was not possible to know which of these - if any - from the information provided.

As you see from the above it would seem that Kyle Beckett was comparing the results of his check-up with an erroneous list, a list that was not the one that the election committee worked with at the end.

1 person did not/could not vote as his first life partner had already voted and the IP-address was blocked to prevent the use of alt-voting
Ziggy Starsmith (see his blog for information on this)

That leaves us with 31 names on Kyle's list that need to be explained.

I have come up with the following three possible reasons, there may of course be more.
a) The people logged in during voting time but chose not to vote. The mere fact that someone logged into the website does not mean, as Kyle tries to imply in his post, that they in fact did vote.
b) The people who voted made a mistake so that their votes were not registered or
c) There was a technical malfunction on the website so that their votes were not registered.

Now let us ask ourselves what motivated Kyle Beckett to
1) check who had logged in to the Second Pride website during the time of voting?
2) to  post the results of his findings in the way he did?

I have information from three different sources that Kyle Beckett has a close first life relationship with one of the candidates of this years election. That candidate lost in the election.

I do not at all find it strange that Kyle would wish to support his first life contact, but I question if he should not have supported his contact personally and emotionally at this difficult time in that persons life instead of bringing the whole election and Second Pride into disrepute. It is especially difficult for me to understand this as both Kyle Beckett and the candidate whom he has a first life relationship with previously have talked profusely about how they support Second Pride and the LGBT community no matter what.

It could perhaps also be interesting and even mind boggling - for those clamouring and shouting out their disgust at this time - to ask themselves if they truly believe that Kyle Beckett would have put so much energy, work and time into this if the candidates he presumably supported had won the election?

Meanwhile I am wondering who the hell gave Kyle Beckett access to a spreadsheet he should not have access to as he was not on the election committee and not one of the two directors leading the committee. And also how the hell he could access the website to gather the information when as I understand it the access to the website should have been limited to the Security Director and the first life consultant who helped with the election.

Hi-a-tus-es

Hi·a·tus  /haɪˈeɪtəs/ noun, plural hi·a·tus·es. (Dictionary.com)

The term hiatus has suddenly turned into a very popular word among my immediate family and friends in SecondLife. At this time I have five of those closest to me on a hiatus, they are my brother in-law Drey, my buddy Butch, my stepson Guyke, my sister Millimina and my buddy Ziggy. Their reasons for this decision vary.

Drey has just vanished and doesn't respond to messages, so his reasons are still unclear, but they usually occur when he has a lot of stuff going on in his first life.

Butch is on a sort of semi-hiatus because of first life occurrences. 

Guyke is on a hiatus to enjoy the feeling of cuddling up close to a warm man. 

Millimina is on one due to a busy first life also. 

And finally Ziggy because of painful health issues in first life - which are hopefully going to be taken care off by skillful surgeons of the Canadian Nation Health Care very soon.

In my humble (well maybe not all that humble...) opinion the five of them would be better off if they took a hiatus from their first lives instead of SecondLife, because their is no better place to be than in-world (preferably with me) if you want to relax from the stresses of a busy first life, as evidenced by the wonderful picture by Millimina that i am using in this post.

Should SecondLife be "Pleasantville"?

If you haven't seen or heard about the film "Pleasantville" (url) please read up before continuing.

First of all let me make it completely clear that I am not a behavioral scientist or anything like that. I have, however, in my line of work as a lawyer in first life, dealt with other peoples conflicts all my professional life. And I have had a few in my own personal life too.

I have also been taught by my parents, my community and my schools, to speak up and take a stand if and when I encountered anything I did not agree with. To state my case and share my opinions and arguments.

Taking a stand and showing your position by necessity creates a conflict. In SecondLife every sign of conflict is dismissed and belittled as "drama" and that is viewed as a bad thing.

Especially since I started blogging about my first and second life I have met the attitude "Can´t we always be friends all the time, everyone?". If and when a conflict showed signs of brewing or was becoming apparent I have been told by close friends and people I love and respect, "walk away", "ignore it" or "don´t acknowledge it" or something of that sort.

In my not so humble opinion conflict is drama and conflict is life! The difficult trick is of course to discuss what has been said or done, not what the person saying or doing something is. It does not promote discussion or reaching a consensus to stamp your opponent.with "He/she is stupid", "He/she is a drama queen", "He is a man, all men are animals and always try to oppress me and other women".

Honestly I can say that in all my 42 years in first life I have only one person with whom I have an entrenched and bitter relationship. In my almost five years of SecondLife I have strangely enough succeeded in accumulating four such relationships through - from my point of view - personal attacks on myself or someone I love. I am sure that the opponent has the reversed view.

I would hate to live in a world of fake harmony and stifling pleasantness, but it would be great if we could acknowledge that conflict is healthy, beneficial, creative and absof***inglutely sane! Conflict forces us to rethink our values, find solutions, forgive and all-in-all evolve as human beings by taking a position and saying what way we want to move. By individual evolution we help the society we live in to evolve and become a better place.

My response to my own initial question is therefore a resounding, Hell no!

But the difference between me and those seeking a drama free and pleasant second life could be that they are just in it for a few hours of entertainment, while to me it actually is a second life. I´m not sure.

Ars, Guyke & I

When Ars and I got together late in 2007 he made it completely clear to me that he and his SecondLife son Guyke came as a package deal. If I wanted to be with Ars, I would have to accept Guyke as part of the family. Ars was careful to explain to me that the two had been lovers for a time, but that the relationship and love between them had - over time - grown into one of father and son instead.

However much I was in love with Ars his request was something I needed to think carefully about. I am not the kind of man who enters into commitments easily just to regret, renege or try to renegotiate at a later date. If I was going to enter into this relationship I wanted to think about it and know what I was agreeing to. I had to have some time to think and Ars would have some questions to answer. Ars patiently answered all my questions and gave me the space and time I needed.

When I had gotten all the answers and assurances I needed from Ars I told him that I was willing to accept Guyke as his son and a member of our family. Until this point in my SecondLife existence the concept of families in-world had been bewildering to me.

At first Guyke and I were quite cautious in our dealings with each other, but as we got the spoken or silent reassurances we needed from the other we grew to love each other. I actually at times feel like a stepfather to him. Guyke is extremely easy to love - when he wants to. He is an extremely charming and considerate man with a great capacity for love. Of course, like all children, he can also be a completely impossible and insolent brat, but that passes quickly and I have learned how to handle it.

Neither Ars nor Guyke ever gave me reason to regret my decision.

I do believe, as I told Guyke, that Ars would have been very happy and more than a little surprised to know that we still get along and are a family more than three years after he had left us and was not here to mediate between his pigheaded son - all inherited from his father - and me. In my opinion that's is the best proof of the love the two of us have for each other.

When I met with Guyke in-world today it was the first time in a long time. Guyke has been busy with his first lime and the new love he has found there. I haven't been as regular in-world either so we have missed connecting accept for a few offline messages.

As Guyke tells me, "he doesn't do mails" except for extremely short messages or report

We met over by the barn at Southern Charm, as I was there setting up the the new furniture I bought at Post today. When I had finished doing that - and we had admired the result sufficiently - we sat down to talk while my bulldog Bilbo snoozed in his basket.

Before we could talk about more important stuff we had to get the question of our disagreement on the pressing subject of Ziggy's new blond hairdo out of the way. 

Guyke asked me if I honestly thought that Ziggy looked good in the new hairdo, because he did not like it one bit. I told Guyke that although I might think that Ziggy was more of a brunette personalty, I actually loved the new blond hair. Guyke then accused me of having lousy taste, to which I answered that I have impeccable taste but perhaps very personal. I also told him that I found it easy to accept and forgive the whims and caprices of my friends and that if Ziggy loved his new hair, then so did I.

After that was settled we could move on to other topics.

Guyke started out with asking if we could be serious. I assured him that I would be.

My son then reminded me that Ars had loved me dearly and would have wished me to be well. For this reason - if nothing else - I should focus on my real life and to make the necessary changes to get better. He wished me to promise him that I would really to that and that I would give priority to my real life..

I told Guyke that I would give him the same promise that I had given to my boss, that I would do my utmost to make the necessary changes in my life with the end goal of improving my physical health. I went on to say that I felt that I could make the necessary changes in my first life while keeping up my SecondLife.

Guyke then accused me of not listening - and told me I never listened to him - and wanted me to admit to having a real life and not a first life.

I told my son that I had actually listened very carefully to what he had said, but that did not mean that I had to accept his premise that SecondLife was in someway unreal. I went on to tell him that what mattered most to me in any of my lives were people and my relationships with them. In my opinion people were not less real in SecondLife than they were in first life, so I refused - and would continue to refuse - to use that expression because I believed it to be untrue for me.

My son got cross with me over this philosophical quibble and told me he was disappointed in me. He also refused to hug me when he had to leave for bed because he was so upset.

I was sorry that Guyke left in a bad mood and without our usual hug. I did not understand how we had ended up in that linguistic and philosophical debate on whether one of the lives is more real than the other. I love my stepson dearly, sometimes I do not think he fully understands to what extent, I also know that he loves me.

I do understand that Guyke is concerned about my health and that he wishes me all the best. Indeed I am grateful for him for expressing his worries and it makes me love him even more. I know we will get over this stupid argument and I want to assure him that I am going to do my very best to keep my promises to him, my boss and myself concerning the changes I need to make in my life to improve my health.

The Mushroom in SecondLife

The inauguration of "The Mushroom" (Svampen in Swedish) in SecondLife takes place tonight. The replica in SecondLife has been built by Iga Clawtooth.

Landmark for "The Mushroom in SecondLife".

I had actually never heard about this particular building before, so I looked it up on Wikipedia.

The Mushroom is a water tower in the town of Örebro in Sweden. The tower was designed by Sune Lindström and is 58 meters high and holds 9 million gallons of water. It was inaugurated (in first life) in May 1958. In the first life version of the tower there is a water exhibition, a cafeteria and a conference center.

A previous copy of The Mushroom (but 33 percent larger) can be found in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia.

Thanks to my pal Apmel Goosson and his blog "My Avatar´s Name is Apmel" I can now reprint the note card which I have received but have not yet logged in to read.

WELCOME TO SVAMPEN/THE MUSHROOM IN SECOND LIFE!

Svampen is a building in Örebro, Sweden, and the great designer in Second Life, Iga Clawtooth, has created this replica of the first life building.

Our specialty at Svampen will be FOOD! In the beginning we will change the menu once a month. We have a special table where you can take your love for a romantic dinner or go for a dinner with your friends.

Once a month there'll be events, and even spontaneous parties. The best way to be updated on what's happening at Svampen, is to join our group "Svampen/Mushroom". Just click on my profile (rultan Zeplin) and join the group :)

OUR FIRST MENU IS - FAST FOOD:

• Tomato Bisque Soup
• Quiche with Ham, Caramelized Onions and Gruyere
• BBQ Chicken
• Hot dogs
• Cheese and Crackers Platter

At the inauguration we will of course serve champagne :))

WELCOME TO A NEW ADVENTURE IN SECOND LIFE - SVAMPEN/THE MUSHROOM!

"Gone Fishing"

Today at 4 pm I started my glorious three week vacations, but this year I have a hectic program lined up in both my lives.

First Life

1. Monday June 17, 2013, 10.30 AM local time - Eye-examination and possible laser surgery
2. Wednesday June/19, 2013, 1.30 PM local time - Doctors appointment for check up on my blood sugar and to get a referral to a dietitian.
3. "Rehabilitation program" to change my first life back to what it was and become a healthier, fitter, slimmer and more "old myself". Eat better! Sleep better! Exercize more! Socialize more! In short get back a first life worth calling "a life"!
4. Take care off and see more of my first life parents and hopefully friends also
5. Have sex...maybe, hopefully, perhaps...
6. ...and relax and have a lot of fun...

SecondLife

1. Second Pride Festival celebrations 
2. SL10B - the celebration of  SecondLife's tenth birthday
3. Take care of my SecondLife family and friends
4. ...and relax and have a lot of fun...

Blame It On the Internet

Social studies are showing that an ever increasing amount of couples find each other on social forums, gaming communities, virtual realities, matchmaking sites and other meeting places provided on the Internet. They meet each other there, fall in love and manage to carry it over into first life.

Yesterday we learned that Daimon and Hugo are one of these couples. They met through their SecondLife avatar accounts on Facebook, when Hugo commented on a funny thing Daimon had posted, then in-world where they fell in love and later on in first life.

The wedding venue was beautifully decorated in a coherent color scheme of white and lilac, the latter being a color I usually detest but it worked well this time. As Tomais was otherwise occupied I was escorted by the Crown Prince Guyke to represent the family.

Hugo and the guests are waiting for Daimon to arrive 

The wedding started a little later than scheduled as one of the grooms-maids had to answer a nature call, but we all patiently waited for the girl to finish. When that was over we all started worrying about if Daimon had decided to ditch Hugo "at the altar" as he was nowhere to be seen. The only one who kept his calm about this was Hugo himself, because he could inform us that Daimon's primatar was sitting beside him at the computer.

Five fashionistas displaying exquisite taste in men's wear,
from left to right I, me & myself, Guyke and Mikey Hax.

The wedding party is finally assembled

The happy couple

Smooching after the ceremony - it went on forever!

After the wedding ceremony had been successfully concluded - and the grooms had finally stopped smooching - the wedding party could depart from the wedding venue and move into the reception area next door, which was decorated as beautifully.

I and the Crown Prince Guyke

We all stopped dancing for the two grooms first dance together as a married couple

Congratulations Mssrs. Daimon and Hugo Summers, may you be happy together in both your first life and your SecondLife. Thank you so much for inviting me to your wonderful wedding.

Don't forget guys, you promised to inform us when you get married in first life also!

---
Furthermore, I consider that Dejerrity Mycron must be partnered soon. The wonderful man's single status is an utter mystery to me and he certainly needs other things to occupy his mind. Interested parties should contact me a.s.a.p. for additional information.

Memorial For Dano

A week ago we all learned that the man behind the SecondLife avatar DanR Raymaker, in first life known as Scott Spencer, had passed away after struggling with a painful disease for a long time.

DanR Raymaker-Mirabella
(a.k.a. Scott Spencer)
★ March 19, 2007  † June 30, 2017

I knew him as Dano and first met him at Boots Gay Beach in 2007 (when he looked as his profile picture above).

Dano was one of the most charming, kindest and caring men I have ever met, with a weird sense of humor and a contagious joy of life. Being around Dano, meant you had fun, whatever mood you were in when you got there.

Even his last post on Facebook bears witness of his amazing sense of humor despite the pain and adversities he was struggling with in first life.

Dano was also one of a handful of non-Swedish avatars who dared take part in my blog-series "Naked Avatars in SL" in 2010. You can see his beautiful contribution in this post from May 21, 2010.

Yesterday I was invited to, and took part in, the memorial service for him and the celebration of his life. We were about 20-22 assembled, under the guidance of Evan Greymyst and Ezzie Mirabella. I am sure we would have been many more if people didn't have first life responsibilities to contend with during a weekday, but I am happy I could be there.

As I understand it, Dano had in length discussed with Evan Greymyst how he wished his memorial to be conducted. It was a memorable service.

Evan Greymyst conducting the memorial

Dano's husband Nibz and their two sons

Rest in peace, Dano, you will be sorely missed!

Salvaging A Lost Friday

One of the greatest benefits with having two realities is that if you have wasted away a day in your first life you are given a possibility to salvage it in your second.

I slept through this Friday in my first life, but as my first life Friday is about to end I am preparing to snatch something of it in my SecondLife.

I hope to see you all at Mikedacook "Mikey" Dinzeo´s birthday bash.

More information about this event can be found on Eddi Haskell´s Second Life; Special Event Tonight at DaPier: DJ Mikedacook´s Real Life Birthday Party.

Greetings from Doug´s Family

Marsdeb after a makeover

I sent an email to Doug´s sister Debbie yesterday, and received her answer today. (Debbie is my link to Doug's first life family.)

As some of you may remember, Marsdeb Yoots was the avatar created by Doug's first life family to represent them at the second memorial service in SecondLife for Doug/Ars.

That memorial service was held at Calas Galdhon a week after his passing with more than 70 avatars joining us from the whole world (from New Zealand and Australia in the east to California, United States, and British Columbia, Canada, in the far west and everywhere in between.)

Through Marsdeb´s participation eight of Doug's first life family (including his parents) could join us at the beautiful memorial service.

"Tell the second life family hello. One of these days Marie and I might just surprise you and plan a trip to Sweden to meet you and others from second life who would care to join us.

Be happy as you know that is what Doug/Ars would want.

Love to all,
Debbie"

This would perhaps be an appropriate time to ask you all who may have been at the memorial service to please send me any pictures you may have from that occasion, I was too busy with myself to even think about taking pictures. You can either drop them on my SecondLife profile or send them to me in an e-mail to lundamats@gmail.com

World Suicide Prevention Day 2013

This is a guest post by Krissy Sinclair who has run the Survivors of Suicide-Depression Project in SecondLife for five years.

The Survivors of Suicide Group in SecondLife has over 400 members and is free to join. The goal of the group is to help people in SecondLife find real life help near them. The group offers 24/7 peer to peer support inworld and also offers education on how to prevent suicide and deal with depression. The group does not offer therapy as that should be done in first life with a trained and licensed professional. 

Krissy Sinclair is a social worker in first life, so this is a issue close to her heart.

Survivors of Suicide-Depression Support Project in Second Life

Suicide can be prevented through education and public awareness.

Suicide Facts

• Suicide takes the lives of nearly 30,000 Americans every year. Many who attempt suicide never seek professional care.
• Suicide rates in the United States are highest in the spring.
• Over half of all suicides are completed with a firearm.
• Over half of all suicides occur in adult men, ages 25-65. For young people 15-24 years old, suicide is the third leading cause of death. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-old Americans. (CDC)
• Suicide rates among the elderly are highest for those who are divorced or widowed. The highest suicide rate is among men over 85 years old.
• There are an estimated 8 to 25 attempted suicides to 1 completion.
• The highest suicide rate is among men over 85 years old.
• The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression. Substance abuse is a risk factor for suicide.
• By 2010, depression will be the #1 disability in the world. (World Health Organization)
• In 2004, 32,439 people died by suicide. (CDC). Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the U.S. (homicide is 15th). (CDC)
• An average of one person dies by suicide every 16.2 minutes. (CDC, AAS)
• There are four male suicides for every female suicide. (CDC, AAS). There are three female suicide attempts for each male attempt. (CDC, AAS)
• According to the Violent Death Reporting System, in 2004 73% of suicides also tested positive for at least one substance (alcohol, cocaine, heroin or marijuana).

The Good News

Research has shown medications and therapy to be effective suicide prevention. 80% of people that seek treatment for depression are treated successfully. It is estimated that there are at least 4.5 million survivors in this country. (AAS)

What we can do in Second Life

We can band together and offer education and support to everyone. We can try and touch as many lives positively as possible as a group.

The Survivors of Suicide-Depression Support Project in SecondLife is such a group. We offer:

• Daily positive living and healing articles
• 24/7 Peer support via the groups chat
• Join a community that understands what you are going through, as they are also
• Education about depression and depression related issues
• Referrals to real life resources
• Don't be alone

Who can join us

Anyone! We are open to anyone who needs support, has needed support, has lost a loved one to suicide, who has depression, who wants to help in the fight against depression and suicide.

Look us up inworld at: Survivors of Suicide-Depression Support Project in Second Life (SLurl)

Join the Survivors of Suicide Group inworld! 

If you have any questions feel free to contact: Krissy Sinclair

---

I would like to thank Krissy for sharing this important information. Although it mainly focuses on facts from the United States, the conditions do not differ much around the world except possibly concerning the means used to commit suicide.

For more International information please visit The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP).

The Benefit of Two Realities

As I mentioned in an earlier post my first life sucked big time today, so at the behest of my buddy Ziggy I logged into my other life.

If I have not done so before I would now like to take the opportunity of thanking Philip Rosedale (a.k.a. Philip Linden), the creator of SecondLife, for supplying me with this wonderful alternative reality. On a day like today it felt like a great relief and almost a lifesaver.

When I came in-world I was immediately surrounded by good, nice, decent and caring people and my outlook on life slowly shifted. I had two long talks and a few shorter ones..

The first long talk was with my brother in-law Dej who came over to visit with me at my current favorite spot on the home sim - the grassy knoll between the two ponds close to the house. I really trust Dej, he has always been there for me over the last three years. I also trust in his common sense and no nonsense attitude towards life.

When Dej had to leave for a drink and dinner in first life, I was hailed by my buddy Ziggy. We had a lot of catching up to do as we hadn't really spoken with each other since well before Easter.

Although the two men at first glance may seem very different, they have certain fundamental traits in common which appeal to me. Serious, intelligent men with a humorous twist have always made me feel comfortable and secure.

My First Life Sucks

Beware, I am going to whine a bit again in this post!

"Sisyfos Lars" by Lars Korff Lofthus

In Greek mythology Sisyphus was a king of Ephyra punished for chronic deceitfulness by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this action forever.

Although spring is finally arriving to Scandinavia and we have had three marvelous, mild and sunny days in a row with temperatures between 15-17°C (59-63°F) I feel like I am roleplaying as Sisyphus. My life seems like a constant battle and I am at odds with e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e in my first life except my father (surprisingly enough, because he is usually the first one I clash with).

I am down to one (1) friend that I stay in touch with and he lives in Stockholm 600 km away (372 miles), so it's a safe distance. It's been so long since I had "carnal knowledge" of anyone that I think I may have forgotten how to do it and that my hymen has grown back.

Everyone around me in first life is either an asshole, a dumbass or just a douchebag. Why am I suddenly surrounded by these people? Even my boss, whom I usually like for her direct approach and good sense of humor, has turned into a blubbering idiot.

I cannot imagine the fault lies with me in anyway whatsoever! No way!

The Wonderful Bara

Yesterday I - for the first time in a long time- had the possibility to catch a set by my dear buddy Bara Jonson, SecondLife (and first life) singer/songwriter extraordinaire. It was bloody awesome!

Bara has a wonderful warm voice that goes straight into my heart and while there plays on all the strings it can find. Those of us who were there, also got to hear a new song by Bara - which was wonderful even if I have forgotten the title - and the splendid news that Bara, his new co-singer Free (whom I haven´t had a chance to listen to yet but have received excellent reports about) and his band now have a manager in first life.

During my post-set talk with Bara we talked about his family, Nickel and Kris (who are still in the U.S.) and Bara mentioned that they were both coming over to Sweden this summer. He also mentioned that Kris was going to be christened during his visit here and then said "As I have often told Nickel, there is only one person whom I can imagine as Kris´s godfather..."

A few years ago I was in a very small part instrumental in seeing to it that Bara got his ass over to the U.S., where he met up with Nickel in real life, shared some vodka with her and corrupted the beautiful innocent woman so badly with his charm and vodka that nine months later she gave birth to their beautiful son Kristoffer.

I was totally blown away and elated by being asked to perform this honor for my friends, even though I did not admit it at the time. Sadly, I had to tell Bara that "Even the Church of Sweden has a few standards and one is that the godparent belongs to the church and has the faith".

Alas, I no longer fulfill those small requirements so I had to decline with a broken heart - after I had quickly and quietly considered rejoining the church again.

Well Jonas and Elizabeth (Bara´s and Nickel´s first life names), even if I cannot be Kris´s godfather I will do my very best to be his guardian angel and/or partner in crime!

The Laird's New Year Address - 2014

Friends, residents of SecondLife, countrymen in the Commonwealth of Southern Enchantment and residents in regions under Our protection,

As tradition bids We address you on this last day of the year. In a few hours the bells will toll and 2014 will end. The new year 2015 will be here. Of this we can be certain, and we look forward to it in hope and anticipation, but we cannot predict what it will bring us.

When We look back at the past year in first life and SecondLife it is - as always - with mixed feelings. Many things have moved forward and been improved but others are still the same or even worse.

From a strictly personal perspective the year 2014 will forever in Our heart be remembered as "Primus annus Thomaidis" (The first year of Tomais). Our royal consort's  love, patience, humor and thoughtfulness has been a great support for Us throughout the past year. His presence in Our life is a source of unceasing joy for which We will always be amazed and grateful.

For SecondLifer's in general and for SecondLife itself, We believe that 2014 will be remembered as the year when Ebbe Linden (in first life a.k.a. Ebbe Altberg) came to the salvation of us residents. Since Ebbe assumed the reigns of Linden Lab many advantageous changes in policies and practices have been made. We can - hopefully - look forward to many more years with Ebbe.

In Our first life We despair at the sight of such dictators as Vladimir "Little Father" Putin and the massmurderer Bashar al-Assad, not to mention others, with the help of their henchmen still in control of their respective countries to the detriment and misfortune of their countrymen.

However, we mustn't be discouraged, there is a New Year ahead with infinite possibilities and much hope of change. If we all, like the Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield, resolve to work together to make our worlds into better places we can surely accomplish many improvements.

We wish you all a fabulous, fantastic and fruitful new year! Be happy, be safe and be forever vigilant against the powers of evil until the day you die of old age with a smile on your wrinkled face!

Nobel Prize for Philip Rosedale?!!

Philip in a tuxedo - like I want to see him soon again

So I was dreaming a bit during the night and now I am going to share parts of my dreams with you, dear readers. The dreams were totally wild and crazy but happy ones.

I had a short one about kissing my Ars, it was so real that I even dreamed of feeling his breath on my face. The only thing was my mind could not decide which Ars I was kissing, his SecondLife avatar or his first life person Doug, so it kind of shifted from one to the other all the time.

In my dreams I also remembered the amazing memorial services that were held in Ars honor, first the one at St. Magnus Kirk in Hinterland (arranged by Chade, Hiroku and the other wonderful men at Hinterland) and then the one at the Calas Galadhon Garden sims (arranged by two of Ars´s brothers, Dejerrity and Jeb, and the two owners of Calas Galadhon, Tymus Tenk and Truck Meredith, and finally wonderful builder Bora Rossini).

Come to think of it I really wish I had pictures from those two services, but I was too preoccupied with other things to take any myself.

At both places we had many avatars coming in from all corners of the world to be together and support each other at this point in time and in their busy first life´s. All because we shared a love and admiration for the avatar Ars Northmead and Doug, the man behind the avatar.

The memorial at Mirromere with me, our boys and Millimina
(Photo courtesy of Millimina Salamander)

Did you know that we were more  than 70 avatars at Calas Galadhon for the whole ceremony? And one of the avatars actually had parts of Doug´s first life family sitting there watching the computer screen, his father, his sisters and brothers and some cousin and nephews.

We were all there, from all over the world sharing these moments of remembrance together, being with each other, supporting each other.

The first thing I thought when I woke up was "Philip Rosedale - and possibly Linden Lab also - should be awarded the Nobel Prize!"

The Nobel Prize comes in the following categories Physics, Chemistry, Physiology or Medicine, Literature, Peace, and finally Economic Sciences. The last prize is awarded by Sweden's National bank in Memory of Alfred Nobel.

I can imagine Philip Rosedale receiving the prize in possibly three of the six categories, Physics, Physiology or Medicine and Peace, but maybe also Economic Sciences.

What do you people think? Could he receive the prize? If so, in which category/categories and why? Talk amongst yourselves then tell me. I have a few ideas myself that I may possibly leak.

I & My Identical Twin

Sometimes we need to be in two places at the same time, but as we know that isn't possible in our first life. However in SecondLife it is. On Friday evening I realized I had promised to be at two separate places at 12 PM (noon) on Saturday.

First I had promised Tomais that I would be at the Wastelands sim for a photo shoot with him, Lee McKay and Ryder Yowman for the "And equality under the law for all" picture. So I needed to have my body there. The second place I needed to be was the Second Pride board meeting taking place at the exact same time. So I needed to have my mind there.

The problem is impossible to solve in first life, but a no-brainer in SecondLife. I logged in the lairds Secretary of State, my oldest and wisest alt Wild Zepp-McMillan to take care of my presence at the Second Pride meeting, while my body rested safely at the Wasteland sim under the protection of my lover.

Wild hasn't been online much and far less outside of the home sim since he was created, so first thing he needed was new clothes. (He only had system clothing and any McMillan would rather be seen naked.) He was sent off to a trip to The Men's Department with an allowance of L$2 000. After only spending about L$500 he was good to go and a pride to see.

I can understand if you have difficulty telling us apart, but left to right it is
Bock McMillan and Wild Zepp-McMillan

The experiment was a complete success, I am happy to say, and I was able to perform my obligations in both places, thanks to Wild and being in constant communications with Tomais on Skype.

The photo shoot turned out wonderfully and I am extremely proud to have been a part of it.

"And equality under the law for all" Photography by Tomais Ashdene
with (left to right) me, Ryder. Lee and Tomais

You can see more of Tomais photography on his his Flickr photostream here or his Tumblr PhotoMonkey SL (NSFW). However, all four of us were ejected from Wastelands and sent back to our respective homes when we tried to pull off the naked version of the picture.

The Second Pride meeting went well too, for the minutes please visit SP Board Meeting Minutes 4-19-14 and for the transcript please visit Transcript of SP meeting on 4-19-14.

As could be expected, the present Marketing Director World Undercroft and Event Director Merrick Genesis, were relieved of their duties for failure to attend three consecutive meetings in a row without permission from the Chair.

The meeting was informed that the key responsibilities of the Marketing Director would be performed jointly by Karl Kalchek and Baz Ceawlin. As the position of Events Director is crucial for the upcoming Festival, even I could see that the position would have to be filled with someone who had the skills for the office. I was therefore not at all surprised when level headed Marge Beaumont made a motion that the position, in accordance with the bylaws, should be filled immediately by Kharissa Indigo (a.k.a. the Relentless Khar).

Although I myself love Khar and could see that she had the required skills I was worried by this nomination both for Khar's own sake and for the sake of Second Pride as she has been a target of "some contention" (to put it mildly) within the community, so I gave voice to my concerns at the meeting.

After being assured by several members of the board that they would not allow Khar to stand alone as a target and that they had discussed policies to handle such a situation I was satisfied. The board then appointed Khar to the position of Events Director.

We were then introduced to The Sponsor and Vendor packages for the Festival, and the registration form for those who had purchased those packages.

Next meeting will be Sunday, May 4 at 12 PM (noon) SLT.

---
P.S. I would like to clarify that Merrick Genesis absence is due to first life health issues, not through any desire to neglect his duties.

News From Dej's Family

Today I received an email from Dej's first life brother Andy.

"Hi [Bock],

I heard from the medical examiner and it turns out that [Dej] had bacterial pneumonia. It was a very bad infection that he probably had for some time and it went untreated. We are all very surprised that he didn't reach out to anyone including a doctor or hospital since antibiotics would probably have saved his life. We shall never know why he chose this path. I am so very glad he had a good friend in you for all those years. He struggled to get along with people so you must have been very special to him. Thanks for your friendship with my brother [Dej].

Andy"

This is my response to Andy.

"Hello Andy,

Thank you so much for the update!

Mike had an ugly cough for a long time, but for some reason, he refused to see a doctor about it - despite much nagging from me. It is sad to realize that something so simple as a cure of antibiotics most likely would have saved his life.

I am sending you the words I shared at the memorial we had for [Dej] and two of the many hundreds of pictures [Dej] has shared with me over the years. Both the pictures are several years old (SL avatars look much better these days). The one called “Mother of the Bride” is one [Dej] sent me when I was getting partnered, while the one called “Dej at his downfall” shows him standing at a place on the sim were I used to accuse him of ditching his husbands and “all” his lovers (I put lots of skeletons in the waters below to represent the “tons, and tons of men laying there” – a gross exaggeration, but we had fun about it anyway.)

As long as I remain in SecondLife and have the sim, Dej’s downfall will always remain. Dej will also share a memorial on the sim with my former partner Ars, who like his brother [Dej] also died of - untreated - double pneumonia in 2010. (What is it with Americans and health care?) 

Dej was very dear to me and it was a pleasure to have been a part of his life.

Thanks again for the information, Andy.

All my best wishes to you and the rest of Mike’s family in [first] life,[Bock]"

The pictures I attached to the response were these two.

"Mother of the Bride" (March 8, 2014)

"Dej at his downfall"

Message from Dej's Sister

Today I received this very touching email from Dej's first life sister.

Dear [Bock],

I am [Dej]'s sister, [Julie], and I had the honor of reading aloud your lovely tribute to him at the memorial service we held [Saturday] at the cemetery, where his remains will lie with our mother's.

We've had horribly hot and humid weather here the past month or so, but today was cool, rainy, and very overcast. Kind of like [Dej], in a way.

[Dej] and I did not communicate much in the past 14 years; that was really his choice and, since we had had a troubled relationship [...], that was okay with me. But the last few years, after I moved in with our mom to take care of her and as she slowly but surely declined, he seemed to soften somewhat. He wouldn't visit often (generally only at Christmas), but he always at least answered e-mails when I found it necessary to send out a family alert. When we saw him at her funeral last December, we were all aghast at his appearance--so thin, stooped, fully white-haired, coughing and wheezing.

He told me about his "Swedish friend" perhaps six or so years ago, as he tried to explain his Second Life existence. There is no doubt he thought the world of you, and his enthusiasm for his second life was unmistakable. It was clear he preferred that to his first life, and I wonder sometimes how blurred the lines between the two became. I don't play games online with other people; I am too timid. But Michael was cautious, too, and I am sort of amazed at how well you ended up knowing him, even though largely "virtually." 

At his service, we played Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" as performed by Jeff Buckley. He sent this to me right after our mom died, so I know it meant a lot to him. I hope he enjoyed it. 

I wanted to thank you, and the other friends I know he's made through Second Life, for caring and sharing your memories of a [Dej] who was largely closed off to us. Our particular family dynamic was never what you would call "loving," but believe me when I say that we are all quite devastated by his death, and will no doubt spend much time wondering whether there was anything else we could have done to prevent it.

Live long and prosper, [Bock].

Very best regards, [Julie]